Cupcakes are my favourite.
Ask me Stuff!
‘I Will No Longer Paint for You’. Acrylic and oil on canvas. 35.1” x 27.5”. May 7, 2012.
I will no longer paint for you.
You’re slowly starting to trickle out of my thoughts, finally.
I’m happy. I’ve started to feel like myself again. I’m doing well. I’m fine, I really am.
It feels strange to be happy, after feeling so small for so long.
But feeling strange prompts me to let you back in. And then fear wells up inside of me.
That means you haven’t completely left me. But you have. And I’m fine as long as you’re not around. But not fine at the same time.
The precariousness of it all leaves me exhausted. Being so careful leaves me exhausted. I don’t like being careful. Not around someone who’s supposed to know me, all of me.
My thoughts coil and uncoil in my head. I can’t make sense of any of them.
I just know that I can’t let myself paint for you, not anymore.
‘Because it’s the disease that kills you both when you have it, and when you don’t.’
This piece has recently become unfinished. I now don’t know where to take it.
Not eating for 25 hours is really super hard, especially since our house is currently overflowing with yummy food. So much temptation - hooray for gluttony! Except not really…
It’s absolute madness that people have to go through this every single day.
(My grandpa: What?! Why you don’t eat? Your (e)stomach will go *krik krik* later. Ay naku, you will die! Wait, I will getchu pood, they will not know!)
‘Infinite Quiet’ Mixed media on canvas board. 12” x 16”. March 28, 2012.
Materials used: acrylic, water colours, ink, black photocopy pigment (gel transfer - so neat!), magazine cut-outs, yarn, different metal wires, molding paste and gloss medium.
This is sort of late, since I finished this piece quite a while back, but oh well. Also, I need something to do to procrastinate from doing… some more art. A revised version of my artist statement:
We were prompted to create a mixed media piece centered around the word ‘freedom’. What is freedom? This word can carry a whole spectrum of definitions, I thought, and it was hard to choose a focus initially. In the end, I chose a perspective for my piece that was a little strange, and a few people thought (especially with the last few pieces I’ve done) that I’m becoming a little bit suicidal (which isn’t true in the slightest). In the piece, I created a female figure who is, well… dead. However, she embodies none of the usual ‘negative’ connotations of death. That’s what I attempted to show, anyway. I think death can be quite peaceful sometimes.
The bottom half of the piece is very dark, heavy and in disarray. In contrast, the top half is light, airy and serene, with its muted colours. As life drains from the figure, she is slowly being liberated from the strangling clutches of the world she is leaving behind (making the barbed wire was so painful, blargh). She floats away gently from all of the petty worries, the burdens and the destruction, into a place of stillness.
Initially, I was only going to put the figure only once in the piece. This changed because throughout the process, I decided it would be more effective to have stages where she ‘grows’ as she becomes less restricted. She is also in a fetal-like position because I think freedom means change, like a ‘rebirth’ of some sort (and I also really like babies, in a non-creepy way).
